In the late 1960s, at Stanford University, a researcher offered 4-year-olds a deal: “You can eat this marshmallow right now. But if you wait until I come back, you’ll get two.” Then he left the room.
Some children ate it in ten seconds. Others sang, closed their eyes, turned their backs on the sweet… and won the second one.
Waiting is the heart of money
Economists call this present bias: how strongly we prefer having something now rather than later. The better we can wait, the more we can save, invest, learn a trade, build something.
A large study in New Zealand followed 1,000 children for 30 years. Those with the best self-control as children were, as adults, healthier, wealthier and less troubled by debt, whatever their family background.
The good news: it can be learned
It isn’t a gift. The children who waited longest didn’t have iron willpower: they had strategies. They looked away, kept busy, imagined the marshmallow as a cloud. And above all, they trusted the adult: when a child knows a promise will be kept, they wait much more willingly.
That’s where you come in.
Try this tonight with your child
Keep your money promises. If you say “I’ll double what you keep until Sunday,” do it. Trust is the fuel of waiting.
Make waiting visible. A drawing of the thing they want stuck on their piggy bank, with a gauge to colour in.
Start short. A day, then a week, then a month. Like a muscle.
Praise the strategy, not just the result: “You found a great way not to think about it!”
In the Mangosteen Buddy comics, Buddy dreams of the Alpenblitz bike. In every book he gets a little better at waiting… and at growing his savings.
Further reading
Mischel, W., Shoda, Y. & Rodriguez, M. (1989). Delay of Gratification in Children. Science, 244(4907).
Moffitt, T. et al. (2011). A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. PNAS, 108(7).
Train their patience with Buddy. Join the waitlist: Book 1 of the comic is free, and the first 500 families get their first year of Premium on us. Save my place