Every playground in the world has the same rule, often before the teacher even writes it on the board: no hitting, and no taking what belongs to others. Children feel it instinctively. When Durio snatches Buddy's snack, the whole playground knows it isn't fair.
This simple rule is, in fact, the foundation of every economy that works.
A very old idea
More than 300 years ago, the English philosopher John Locke wrote that no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty or possessions. In the 20th century, the American economist Murray Rothbard summed up this idea in a principle he called non-aggression: nobody has the right to start using force or threats against someone or against what belongs to them.
Notice the word "start". Defending yourself isn't aggression. What's ruled out is being the first to push.
The three honest ways to get something
To get Buddy's snack, Durio has only three honest paths:
- Make it himself (with his own effort).
- Swap for it, with something Buddy wants (a marble, for example).
- Receive it as a gift, if Buddy feels like giving it to him.
Everything else (taking by force, threatening, cheating, lying) is aggression. And aggression always has one thing in common: one person wins, the other loses. Whereas on the three honest paths, nobody loses.
The hidden cost of mistrust
Imagine a class of 20 children where snacks often go missing. Each child spends 10 minutes of every break guarding their things instead of playing. Over a 5-day week and about 38 school weeks, that adds up to 38,000 minutes, or more than 630 hours a year lost to mistrust.
In a class where the golden rule is respected, those 630 hours become play, friendship and swapping. It's the same for a town or a country: where everyone can count on their belongings being respected, people dare to build, lend and invest. Trust is a form of wealth.
And when you've done something wrong?
The golden rule has a second part: if you've damaged something, you mend it or pay it back. It isn't a punishment: it's putting things back the way they were. A child who breaks a classmate's pencil and buys a new one with their own pocket money learns more than from ten lectures.
Try this tonight with your child
Tell them a little scene: "Durio wants Buddy's ball. What can he do?" Let them find the three honest paths (make, swap, receive). Then ask: "And if Durio takes it by force, what does Buddy lose? And what does the whole class lose?" Write your family's golden rule together and stick it on the fridge.
Read also: "It's mine!": why that's a good thing
Further reading
- Locke, J. (1689). Two Treatises of Government, Second Treatise, ch. II, "Of the State of Nature". London: Awnsham Churchill.
- Rothbard, M. N. (1973). For a New Liberty: The Libertarian Manifesto. New York: Macmillan.
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